Matt Kailey

On Saturday, a marriage equality rally took place on the Capitol steps in Denver, drawing nearly 200 LGBT people and straight allies to hear speakers ranging from prominent Colorado activists to state legislators, with a proclamation from Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper himself.

So what, you say — there are lots of marriage equality rallies all over the country.

But this one was different — it was organized by a third grader whose parents are straight, and who, statistically, is likely straight himself. Nine-year-old Ethan organized the rally because he recognized the innate unfairness of denying legal marriage to same-sex couples. (Watch my YouTube video of Ethan’s speech at the rally.)

But what does this have to do with trans people? Well, while I would guess that a majority of trans people support the legalization of same-sex marriage, I have witnessed enough homophobia in the trans community to know that some probably do not. And there are reasons aplenty why every trans person should.

Homophobia in the trans community generally, but not always, comes from those who are assimilated into mainstream, heterosexual male and female society, and who have no connection to the gay and lesbian community. They are often either opposed to or indifferent to the T on the end of GLB, and they often do not identify as trans themselves, but as male or female (there is nothing wrong with this identification, by the way).

But even those who are completely assimilated and no longer think of themselves as transgendered, transsexual, or any other variation thereof would be wise to note that they can be affected — and damaged — by current marriage laws.

While, as Shannon Minter, Legal Director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights, explains, marriage is a very real option for many trans people, the right is not set in stone. When marriage laws vary from state to state, a trans person can find him- or herself fighting with a state court over the validity of his or her marriage.

States can vary not only in their definitions of marriage, but in their definitions of what makes a person male or female — and this is where the problems for trans people can come in.

If you legally marry in a state that uses a driver’s license as a gender marker for marriage, then move to a state that uses a birth certificate only, what happens if your birth certificate has not been changed? Is your marriage still legal in this state? What if it is questioned?

If your birth certificate has been changed, and you legally marry in a state that accepts this as a gender marker, what happens when you move to a state that considers only chromosomes when defining male and female? You can see how things can get convoluted pretty quickly.

This is why, regardless of a trans person’s gender identification and sexual orientation, it is in his or her best interests to support a federal same-sex marriage law. If sex and gender are not issues in marriage across the board, we are all well on the way to being protected in our chosen relationship, if that relationship involves legal marriage.

While I personally think that there are other issues far more pressing for gay and lesbian people, as well as for trans people, marriage appears to be the political issue of the day for same-sex couples. So even though we have other urgent issues that need to be dealt with — such as job discrimination, housing, and health care — it doesn’t hurt us, and it just might help us, to support the goal of legalized same-sex marriage at the federal level.

I definitely support same-sex marriage. Besides often identifying as gay myself, I also know that when one group is denied equal rights, every group’s rights are at risk. And when a nine-year-old boy like Ethan knows the right thing to do, I think it behooves us all to follow his lead.

Plus, I would never try to deny the right of same-sex couples to be as miserable as their straight counterparts.