It just seems fraught with complications. To me, it seems to convey a concept that you’re not what you say you are–that you’re “passing” for something you’re not. In my mind, it’s different for trans people than the other historical usages.

Somehow, for me, when talking about “passing” for a man, it conveys a falsehood–I’m not really a man, I’m just “passing” for one. And it seems like that’s what the right wing uses against us–”You’re not really this, you’re just pretending. You can’t really be this.”

I have used the word “assimilate” to reflect the same concept that other people have used “passing” or “stealth” for, but I don’t like that word, either, because I think it has its own set of negative connotations. Blending in sounds favorable to me, because that seems more to be just not standing out–just being whoever it is that you are (and being accepted for whatever identity you present).

I’m rambling (what’s new?). But I really like all these perspectives–thank you.

It may be that this just reinforces your dislike of the term, as the above examples were both legal acts, while T passing is more of a social act, and US blacks and women may resent T people adopting “their term” (not to mention the conflict between TS and CD use of the term), but it is a well-known and long-lived term with a pretty accepted meaning: To be accepted as the identity you express full time.

I do agree with Katie that blend in is much preferable for me, as that conveys being accepted and reduces physical risk. But there are people who have no intention or desire to blend in (or pass), but they still want acceptance. I don’t have a word for their action. (Of course “citizens who should have equal rights” and “people who shouldn’t be discriminated against because they choose to not blend in/pass” apply, but aren’t what the subject is about, as you well appreciate.) This also applies to those who want to blend in/pass, but face significant physical obstacles.

Whether one prefers pass, blend-in, perceived as, or some other term, the concept is useful as an indicator of personal goals toward acceptance and safety, always bearing in mind that the group with which one wants to blend in with may be other than mainstream. Regardless, we all want acceptance from some group and safety from all groups.

Karen

I’d like the term “passing” a lot more if it were also used for non-trans people. That queers things up a bit — it implies that everyone can “fail” at their gender. Not that I believe that one can fail at being oneself — it’s a way of pointing out that society judges everyone according to certain norms.

I think we need to rethink the terminology we use as a group. Personally, I use “blend in” to indicate the same concept as “passing” because I feel that it’s less offensive. Although the issue in my case isn’t about whether or not I’m lying about who I say I am; it’s more of a security issue for me since I’m more liable to be harassed/assaulted/insulted if I don’t blend in.

Really, blending in is subjective. Even cisgendered or non-transgendered people have a variety of looks and elements to their appearance, so in reality there is more flexibility than we might think there really is.

As you say some of us “could not be taken for our chosen gender 100% of the time in this lifetime”. Sometimes I am accepted as a female, much of the time seen as “something else”. I have live in the centre of a gender spectrum for over half a lifetime but still the world only wants us to disappear seamlessly into an unreasonable artificial binary construct. For safety to pass as on of these binaries is what many dream of. If only there was not this pressure to conform many people, not only trans identified, would have a happier life, dream on…

Caroline