Matt Kailey

There’s a fine line between preference and fetish, and I have written about this before. I don’t take much offense with someone who finds a particular body configuration attractive, whether that configuration is something that some trans people might have or not. But I do have a problem with certain assumptions that some people make about what a transsexual body might look like.

I got another call at work yesterday — a man wanting to hook up with a “transsexual,” and wanting to know where he could “find” transsexuals to hook up with. We’re an LGBT newspaper, so we often get calls like this, and they’re usually referred to me, because, of course, everyone assumes that I have intimate knowledge about transsexual hookup spots. In this case, I happened to answer the phone myself.

And, of course, the guy calling wanted to meet a trans woman — everyone who calls our office looking for a “transsexual” always means a trans woman, which does not hurt my feelings in the least. I try to be professional when dealing with these absurd calls, but I can’t help but be bothered by the underlying assumptions. In this case, they were that:

> There is a particular location where a bunch of trans women hang out together every day — as if they don’t have jobs and hobbies and other responsibilities. They just all get together as a group and hang out at some public place.

> These trans women who are busy hanging out together all want to have sex and are just waiting around for someone to show up for this purpose.

> Not only do they all want to have sex, but they all want to have sex with this caller, and will be ready for him once he discovers where they are hanging out.

> They all have the same body configuration — whatever body configuration he has dreamed up in his head that transsexual women have.

Okay, so that got me irritated, but I was able to maintain my dignity and my professionalism and get him off the phone. It’s over, right? Wrong. He calls back — this time to ask if a person can get AIDS through oral sex.

Damn it, Jim, I’m a newspaper editor, not a doctor (this is a little inside joke for those of us old enough to remember the original Star Trek).

I have had training in HIV/AIDS issues, including the transmission of the virus, but I’m certainly not qualified to advise this individual on his risks when engaging in oral sex. The problem, though, is not my lack of qualifications in this area. The problem for me amounts to additional assumptions. In this case, they were that:

> All the trans women gathered at a particular spot waiting to have sex with this man would be ready and willing to engage in oral sex.

> They are all HIV positive.

This is not intended to denigrate anyone living with HIV or AIDS. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with the entire bundle of assumptions underlying the interactions that this individual was having with me.

It has to do with the utter sexualization of a particular body type, and the assumptions that any “transsexual” would have this body type, would want to have oral sex with some anonymous caller, and would be HIV positive to boot.

For those who think trans people are crazy, this is the stuff that makes us that way.