Matt Kailey

First Colle Carpenter, now Lance Reyna. And there have been many more — some unreported by the victim, some misreported by the press, some buried on the back page.

But although the attacks on trans men have not yet reached the numbers we see with trans women (and probably won’t, for several reasons), they are either increasing, getting more attention, or both.

And, as with the attacks on trans women, one of the hallmarks we are seeing is anti-gay language associated with these attacks. I don’t know if there were anti-gay slurs used against Carpenter — his attacker seemed to know that he was trans. But with Reyna, as with many of the trans women victims we have seen, such language was used. His attacker said, “Hey, queer,” before accosting him.

It’s not yet apparent whether or not Reyna’s attacker knew that he was trans, knew or suspected that he was gay, or was simply attacking him in order to rob him (the attacker took his wallet), but Reyna believes that he was targeted because of his gender identity and sexual orientation.

Even if the motive was robbery alone, it’s still possible that the attacker saw Reyna as an easy target because of the stereotype that gay men are “weak” or can’t fight or defend themselves (utterly untrue — if I had my pick of any bodyguard in the world, my first choice would be one of my best friends, who is also gay).

Regardless, trans people are taking a double hit — suffering the repercussions of both transphobia and homophobia. Some people would argue that this is, in part, a result of attaching the “T” to “LGB,” and that if we would distance ourselves from that association, we would not be perceived as gay. Then only those of us who really are would suffer the ramifications.

But that won’t work. Most people whose hatred is so virulent that it moves them to physical violence will not differentiate. I would bet that if you asked the majority of them what “LGBT” stands for, they wouldn’t even be able to tell you.

It is the “feminine” that threatens them, or their concept of “feminine” — their disdain for it because of society’s disdain for it, their fear that it is somewhere inside of them, and their terror that someone else will recognize it in them. So they have to destroy it.

This doesn’t mean that Reyna was “feminine” in any way, or that gay men who experience homophobic attacks are “feminine” by our culture’s standards. The stereotype (along with the fact that gay men engage in behavior — loving and having sex with men — that is considered by our culture to be reserved for women) is enough.

We will not get rid of transphobia until we get rid of homophobia. And we will not get rid of homophobia until we get rid of misogyny. And disassociating ourselves from “LGB” won’t do any of that.

We have to recognize our direct relationship to this community, no matter what our sexual orientation. And in return, this community needs to recognize its direct relationship to us. Then we need to stop this violence that affects all of us.