The 12th Annual International Transgender Day of Remembrance is observed on November 20, but Transgender Awareness events are taking place all week, across the United States and around the world.
And whether you are trans or not, there are things that you can do to make the world better for yourself and for trans and gender-diverse people everywhere. Here are some suggestions:
For non-trans people:
1. Stop killing us. We haven’t done anything to you. If you are afraid of us, you need to examine your own issues and face your own fears. Attacking us won’t change things and it won’t make us go away. It also won’t make whatever you’re dealing with go away. Deal with your own demons. We aren’t them.
2. Attend a TDOR event. Find out who has died and how we have died. Afraid it will make you feel bad? It should. But you can help stop it. We need you on our side.
3. Volunteer to help out at a trans-related event. Meet some people. Have some fun. We’re not all a barrel of laughs, and we’re not all “the nicest people you will ever meet,” despite what you’ve heard. But most of us are good, happy, friendly people, just like most of you are. We’ll welcome you.
4. Talk to a trans person – about anything. We have varied interests, and some of us probably share yours.
5. Make a commitment to be an ally. This can mean anything from treating us like you would treat anyone else to speaking out against the prejudice, discrimination, and violence directed toward our community. Our allies are one of our best hopes in stopping new additions to our annual list of the dead.
For trans people:
1. Attend a TDOR or trans-related event this week. Even if you’re not out, returning to your “roots” can provide a great sense of camaraderie and belonging, as well as help you realize that you aren’t alone out there.
2. Remind yourself and others to be strong. Hearing about the violence against us can be overwhelming and can lead to depression and fear. Suicide is a huge problem in our community, but as long as you are alive, you bring hope to others. Stay alive to pave the way for those who will come after you.
3. Be happy. Those who would do us harm or support discrimination against us want us to be unhappy. They want us to believe that there’s something wrong with us, that we aren’t as good as others, and that we don’t deserve equal rights and protections. We know better. One of my favorite quotes is from Mariane Pearl: “I see happiness as a form of resistance.” We can’t let those who work against us control how we feel about ourselves.
4. Celebrate life. As we mourn those who have died, we also must celebrate their lives and ours. Those who have been killed were living as they wanted to live and as who they were. There’s nothing more powerful than that, and the power of authenticity can be very frightening or threatening to others. Those who have died paid the ultimate price, but no one can take away the power of the life they lived and the power of the lives of those who are still with us.
5. Be out if you can – if it’s safe, if it’s feasible, if it works for you. All the research we have says that people who “know one” – a member of any particular marginalized group – are more likely to support rights and equality for that group. And the stronger and closer the relationship, the stronger and more committed the support. We want to change hearts and minds. We also want to change laws. Visibility can help achieve that. There truly is strength in numbers.
Stay strong, stay safe, stay sane – and never forget. Those who have lost their lives push us forward and keep us fighting.
I have attended a few TDOR events and ultimately I am always irked that, as we read the always long long long list of latina and black names , I notice that I am standing in a sea white trans and white cis faces overcome with “grief.”
This year is a little different for me. This year I actually met two people who will be named in this year’s list (back when they were alive, of course).
I have been out and transitioned for 19 years now. The majority of people I knew who were transitioning along with me are long dead now, either by AIDS, murder, or suicide. Not just oh they died recently, they died suddenly, they died unexpectedly but dead for a decade or more. This dying off of trans people of color, especially transwomen of color, is so common in many of our communities we actually have a glossary of phrases for when one of us goes missing, gets ill, dies, etc. For example, there is something called “Moving to die.” That’s when you one day pick up and leave town so that nobody who used to know you has to see you going thru the end stages of full blown AIDS.
Example:
“Whatever happened to Sarina, I ain’t seen her in a while?”
“Girl, she stay up in Chicago now.”
“Oh, she move to die?”
It is also not uncommon to casually express surprise that someone you used to know from years ago is still alive and well. Trans people of color have evolved whole paradigms of thought around the seeming inevitabilty of dying young, dying horribly, or otherwise being murdered one day.
White trans culture is remarkably different in this respect. Except when it comes to their precious TDOR.
This year I am boycotting all things TDOR. Not as some political statement I wish to catch on, just for my own sanity. Personally, I am tired of white people getting together every year and pretending like they gave a damn about those of us , the ones who are actually getting killed, on any other day of the year.
I am tired of the implicit message that I am only worth noticing, celebrating, or remembering when I’m DEAD.
This year TDOR will be just that more offensive to me because for at least two of the names on this list I will actually be able to say, “Yes Carmen, I met her once, Yes Stacy I saw her several times in person… ” and then to look around and see a bunch of folks suddenly full of all the empathy and distress they don’t seem to have for people who look like me at any other time of the year… No thanks. Not this year. Maybe in the next year or two when MY name ends up on the list I’ll have more patience.
Until then.
Thank you for your comment and insights. I actually have a guest post going up on Womanist Musings on Saturday dealing with this very issue. I believe that Renee (at Womanist Musings) is posting guest posts from a variety of trans people on Saturday regarding TDOR.
However, as a white trans man, I can only examine the issue from an “outsider” perspective, rather than from firsthand, personal experience the way you can. So I appreciate you sharing your feelings about it, which send a very strong and necessary message. Thank you again for giving us another perspective to the day and to the issue.
Jane, I was hoping to be able to e-mail you, but your e-mail address is not showing up on the back end of my blog. I know that Renee is looking for a variety of perspectives for her TDOR posts on Saturday. I think your words are important. If you would be interested in writing a post for her blog for that day, please e-mail me.
Matt
emailed you, let me know if you got it. If not try me at janelaplain at gmail. Gmail isn’t my favorite mail server (the interface is unnecessarily complicated and easy to make mistakes with) but its the one i generally use for blog related stuff.
Hey Jane,
We don’t really have a TDOR over here, but I have felt the same issues you are raising. As a white trans guy, I feel guilt because I have heard trans men regularly laughing at trans women behind their backs or expressing complete distance to trans women’s situations. While trans men aren’t completely safe from violence, it is mostly trans women, who are poorer and/or of colour, who are the target. I think we are avoiding that fact in the current trans “communities” which are mostly taken over by middle class white trans men. I’m trying to adress the problem at trans places, but I seem to be the only one who even notices- which gives me the creeps.
Perhaps your readers can direct me; when I read your blog I went looking on a variety of Canadian provincial and municipal websites for some mention of Transgender Day of Remembrance but I couldn’t find anything.
Does any Canadian out there know where to look for this info?
If there isn’t any perhaps I need to align myself with those that are working to promote remembrance.
Thanks….
I am going to hope that this posts as a link, but if it doesn’t, I will go on the back end and post it as a link. On this page of the TDOR website, there are listings for various events internationally, and there are several located in Canada. Click here.
It worked. Click on the “Click here.” link in my comment above and you will see the page. Scroll down to find Canada. They are listed alphabetically by country.
Thank you Matt. Personally, I feel very strongly that point 5 is very, very important and in the long run will be the most effective approach to making the world a better place for all of us.
I do not go about proselytizing about trans issues but rather just being me, living my life as an elder woman who just happens to be trans, assuming that people are perceptive, a woman who remains intelligent, articulate, reasonable, vital, productive. This is not to say that I shy away from my truth, I am very proud of who I am as a complete person and am blessed to have many opportunities to educate and inform people about trans issues.
As a volunteer in my community, not just the LGBT community but the community at large, I believe that I am indeed making a difference, subtly educating people as well as being a positive role model. This approach while not bold, or in your face is, I believe, one which in the long term will make a difference or so I hope.
Cheryl
You are making a definite difference by doing what you’re doing. You don’t have to be bold or in-your-face to make a difference or to be an activist. We need all kinds of activists to make inroads. You are probably making more of a difference than you even realize.
Thanks, Matt, it’s good to see a post about this important event. Reading your five suggestions for trans people I have to admit that #3 (Be happy) made me stop and think. The other four come much easier to me, but I never thought about my happiness (or lack of) having any impact on anyone else, especially those who oppose us. Good point, man . . . I promise to work on that.
I realize that it seems strange to talk about happiness when we are talking about a day of mourning, but our happiness is what those who work against us want to prevent. They want us to be miserable, as if it “serves us right” for being who we are. And I am just not going to let them dictate that to me. “I see happiness as a form of resistance.” I love that quote and I have attempted to live by it ever since I heard it.
Jane,
Maybe 12 or 13 years ago I took care of a young, frail, dying male bodied person who came into our southern ICU unconscious, with meningitis that wound up being due to AIDS. the family told the ER doc that their son had just moved back home after several years up north, came home sick, and just didnt get better. Another nurse who was an ex-marine and myself recieved him from the ER and undressed him to hook him up to the monitors. Our patient was dressed as male, but when we took her undershirt off, she had on a delicate, lacy training bra. Both Clark and I were caught by surprise. Something in our hearts was touched by how vulnerable she looked. I dont think either of us understood that she was trans, or even knew what being Trans was, but we understood that she had come home to her family to die, and still had to hide this part of herself. Neither of us ever told anyone else on the unit. Not out of shame, but because we felt we needed to keep her secret for her, we wanted to protect her. We were both very gentle with her, very respectful. Clark was just a good, cisgendered man. I didnt know it then, didnt know it til pretty recently, but I was a closeted transman who had met my first sister as she was dying.
I am sorry Jane, for the ugly side of the Trans community that you see. I believe you, and I am sorry. I hope you stay safe. I hope you live a long time. I hope you and your sisters live long enough to see it get better. I hope I find my way to hear your words and take them to heart.
Walker
I have worked with the dead most of my life and before the first TDOR was working with the trans dead. I am white mixed with Amer Indian but I know exactly what Jane is talking about as I took in a lot of NYC “street girls” when we first founded Gallae Central House, now the Maetreum of Cybele and Womens Spirituality Centre.
The transgender identified part of the trans community has been the source of most of my own oppression on gender issues, not the outside world. I continue to work with the trans dead including the very angry spirit of Sylvia Rivera who I knew in person and planned to move to our home had she survived her last battle with cancer.
I won’t attend a TDOR ever again.
Thank you all for this discussion. As I said above, I have written about this issue several times, including in my TDOR post that will appear on Womanist Musings on Saturday, but I can only write about it from an outsider perspective, and not with the same experience or understanding as someone who is in the middle of it. So I was grateful for Jane’s comment because it really gave me another perspective and something to think about.
Hey Matt:
I don’t think I’ll ever attend another TDOR event. Before anyone piles on, let me explain.
I started to get a little creeped out a couple of years ago. Because so many of the people on the list are trans women of color, and so many people at TDOR events are white (myself included), I started to feel like there was an unspoken mesage being sent. And that is that certain folks aren’t worth knowing or talking about in the larger trans community until they’ve died. Now that could just be me, but still…creepy.
Now, I’m starting to understand some of the larger issues, things like what Jane LaPlain has brought up. White, upper middle class trans women holding these events, clutching their pearls in public, and talking about how horrid it is that this could happen to any of them at any time. When really, they are far less likely to be murder than lower income trans women of color (or poor trans women period) because their social location and economic resources protect them from a large portion of situations these murders happen in. Yech.
And then, there’s one thing on an extremely personal level that bothers me. I’ve outlived my childhood friends, and as of 2005 am the last one standing. By the time I was six years old, I knew a lot about planning funerals. And honestly, I have never attended a TDOR reading/mourning event that has actually felt like a real funeral or memorial service. I feel personally like they are not structured to provide an actual opportunity to grieve the dead.
And perhaps that’s not what they’re meant to do, I don’t know. But, for me, there’s just too many reasons to stay home, read the list myself, and engage in an evening of prayer instead of taking part in this.
I’d like to add, that while I see all the problems, I still think it’s an important event. The fact that such a day was invented brings awareness about the situation to countries outside the US, when cis people hear about it and think about it for the first time. I wish the day can have similar impact like Aids activism.
Thank you to the people who have commented here about an issue that seems to be often unspoken. On a personal level, it was a wake-up call for me.
As a white trans guy who is somewhat new to the community, I ask the trans people of color:
What needs to be done to improve this situation?
(I apologize if this question seems incredibly ignorant, but it is because I am.)
[...] site, you can read various articles in the press, or you can go to blogs like Matt Kailey’s Tranifesto or Renee’s Womanist [...]
Shocking news… the TDOR isn’t perfect. The trans community isn’t perfect (and fuck the word ‘transgender’ anyway). It exists with the same framework of racism, sexism and classism as the rest of society. A LOT of us have virtually nothing in common other than our gender issues and fighting against transphobia.
But what do you want people? Name another event in the LGBTQI spectrum which is NOT about commercialization, fund raising, gyrating rent boys, two-drink minimums and a DJ? Is that why you all have your panties in a bunch… it’s not fun or cool enough for you? For me, that’s one of the impressive aspects of the TDOR—no one owns it (although big thanks to Ethan St. Pierre for all the work he does on its behalf). I can’t speak for where you live, but in SF, there are lots of faces of color at the TDOR event. There are families of people who’ve been murdered. If you think it’s a big waste of time and too white… that’s your organizing issue. Change it.
“White, upper middle class trans women clutching their pearls”
Whoa, Lincoln… is that the ultimate enemy for you? Sounds kind of like… internalized transphobia to me. Sorry you have to even be seen with us (and I don’t own pearls and I’m not upper middle class… nor are most of those people you’re mentioning). They’re actually, as a group, doing worse economically as trans women than you’re doing as a trans man.
Anything, anything even imperfect which helps get the word out about the injustices experienced by young trans women of color is worth it. Does that mean those issues like economic justice, health care, educational support, foster care, housing, mentorship are being addressed? No. Even getting them into people’s brains (especially white people) and having them sink it takes a lot of work. This is a start. You don’t like how it is, then reclaim it. But Internet snarking about a non-commericial, trans-created event is just too damn easy… and lazy.
*sigh* … I try to stay out of it and still they reel me back in.
@gina
“I can’t speak for where you live, but in SF, there are lots of faces of color at the TDOR event. There are families of people who’ve been murdered. If you think it’s a big waste of time and too white… that’s your organizing issue. Change it.”
and
“This is a start. You don’t like how it is, then reclaim it.”
If you were talking to Lincoln, I don’t see how the event is a white trans man’s to “reclaim.” As to your suggestion that he just “change it” if he doesn’t like it and that it’s a mere “organizing” issue…this is exactly the sort of white entitlement pull up your bootstraps and stake your claim on it culture that has pushed ME, a black transwoman who has lost many many other transwomen of color to the very sort of anti-trans violence TDOR brings attention to, away from the event. As if the answer to the problem of white middle class entitlement culture’s taking over activist events is to pay it even MORE attention and work even harder to try and change IT.
I respect the hell out of the TDOR mission and what its original organizers had intended by creating the event. Memorialize our dead so that WE wouldn’t forget. Check here to brush up on who, what, and when it all began:
http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2010/11/tdor-lives-so-trans-community-never.html
And I’m sorry but I have to take issue with this statement:
“Anything, anything even imperfect which helps get the word out about the injustices experienced by young trans women of color is worth it.”
Speaking as a transwoman of color who once worked in the underground street economy, who has lost many many friends of all colors in this same scene and who finds herself and her then and now peers targeted to an insane degree for violence, I DO NOT AGREE.
NO, Not just anything that gets the word out about the violence we, transwomen of color, face will do. We may be endangered, but we are not desperate and we are NOT going to settle for just ANY ol’ kind of exposure. White/Cis attention does not equal a rememdy for violence against trans POC’s.
I hear what you’re saying about reorganizing and reclaiming and its important to be the change you wish to see blah blah blah…. But I’m not going to knock myself out to re-educate a bunch of people who are more than satisfied with limiting their own concern about the plight of transwomen of color to this one day a year.
And I would NOT be as icked out as I am at what TDOR has come in my area (I can’t speak for SF) if it weren’t for the fact that yes, too many in the LGBTQ spectrum indeed DO limit their concern for transwomen of color to this one day a year. And even worse, they co-opt it… even sort of fetishize it… generalizing the dangers a very specific demographic of the trans community faces on the day to day as dangers they ALSO somehow face on the day to day in equal measure.
For this one day a year all LGBTQ spectrum people get to proclaim how deeply and profoundly they are affected by the violence and murders facing them and their “sisters” ….. and I’ve HAD IT.
So no. The answer is not going back and reclaiming the event from privileged folks who only use it for their own cathartic ends… but to work with others who genuinely DO care to specifically adres the day to day violence transfolks of color face..yanno.. working to SOLVE the issue so that there WONT be so many damn names every damn year.
If your main concern is getting the word out to Cis people that folks they already dont give a damn about are dying and look how many THIS year… is your idea of helping ME and MINE out… your idea of “anything, anything” will help… thanks but no thanks.
If you would like to do something about the MURDERS as they are happening and BEFORE they happen, I’m all ears.
Gina:
It’s not my place to “reclaim” or “change” TDOR. I’m a white transguy, and the majority of the victims are trans women of color. I would be taking up space that should be given to the people most affected by the violence to use their own voices. Perhaps I came off a bit more snarky than I meant to. For some reason, TDOR is rubbing me especially raw this year.
I’m glad Frisco’s event seems much more diverse than the ones I’ve attended. That’s a good thing. For what it’s worth, I also heartily disagree with the people who are of the opinion that TDOR has gotten “too depressing”, and needs to be “brightened up” and have more “celebratory” events. Um, no, because that would be erasure of the lives of the women in our community that don’t get enough attention to begin with.
Yeah, I probably do have some internalized transphobia. I think all trans people do. It may be inevitable with the way this culture treats trans folks. But that has nothing to do with what I said about wealthier white trans women believing that they are at the same amount of daily risk for physical violence as most trans women of color.
Trans women are not now and have never been my enemies, but some things are a bit obvious. Someone with a good job and health insurance, who lives in a nice neighborhood, and has plenty of social and fiscal resources is not as likely to find themselves in a situation where they risk physical or sexual violence on a daily basis. Before you twist me up, I’m not at all saying that white, wealthy trans women are never raped, beaten, and murdered. Because they are.
I personally don’t have an ultimate enemy. And if I did, it would definately not be within my own community.
Btw, just a couple of things about income and gender. I don’t usually get drawn into this, but in 2008, Ingersoll did a study here in Seattle. They found that trans men here have a higher unemployment rate than trans women. I think part of that may have to do with Microsoft being here, and the large amount of trans women who work in computers. As for me personally, I’m not going to put all my business out there, but my only income comes from a state check. And it doesn’t amount to much.
” I don’t usually get drawn into this, but in 2008, Ingersoll did a study here in Seattle.”
The University of Chicago did a study from last year which found trans women’s income went down substantially with transition while trans men’s increased. And that was only testing white peeps… not even the low-income trans population.
Talking about ‘white trans women with pearls’ is trying to concoct a boogy man. I’ve met a LOT of trans men and queer people who hate and marginalize all colors of trans women… just as I’ve met plenty of white trans people who hate and distance themselves from non-white trans women. Is the TDOR to blame for that?
I totally reject Jane’s categorization of the TDOR being a “white/cis” event… I’ve lived in NYC and SF and participated in both places and that’s not the reality in either. Maybe you’re just both living in white-people land or near colleges? In the city where I live, the organizations which provide direct medical, social and employment services to low income trans women of color are also involved with the TDOR. The family members of many of the victims are present. If you want to dismiss their efforts that’s just cynicism.
Moreover, in my experience with the TDOR’s I’ve seen… if anything the people going to them tend to be under-employed or unemployed and of more of a active social activist bent. If you want to demonize someone, how about all the big ‘GLBT’ orgs which make up the power players of Gay Inc. who mostly ignore the TDOR (because it doesn’t provide them with fundraising) and spent millions of dollars obsessing over Prop 8 rather than focusing on issues of queer/trans youth? (and, btw, the trans population at those orgs is overwhelmingly represented by white college-educated trans men and trans masculine people, not trans women). How about gay men who are whooping it up every season with RuPaul while trans women are getting murdered?
I’ve still heard no real solutions coming from anyone on this thread who’s dissing the TDOR. I think the comment that people only care about trans women of color when they’re dead is pretty cynical since the issues involved are systemic, far beyond the limitations of the trans community, imbedded in the corrupt economic system of this country… expecting that an already marginalized (and largely unemployed or underemployed) group of people is going to be able to grapple with them is pretty unreasonable. Most of those people are barely keeping their heads above water themselves and by no means are most trans women working at places like Microsoft… that’s a bizarre fantasy.
The whole who makes more money thing, I don’t even want to get into it either, but I feel it touches on the overall theme of my criticism:
“The University of Chicago did a study from last year which found trans women’s income went down substantially with transition while trans men’s increased. And that was only testing white peeps… not even the low-income trans population. ”
And you dont find the casual erasure of low-income trans people or trans people of color from this study highly problematic? Because I find it appalling. I find it divisive. Look at how its being used to create a false perception that trans men as a whole are doing so much better than trans women. White people account for about 8% of the WORLD’s population.. and yet their experiences are consistently universalized. What the EFF??
But what about me? It wasn’t until I began passing for a cis black woman that I was ever able to find and keep ANY sort of employment outside of sex work. And as a cis-appearing black woman I seem only to be able to get and keep certain KINDS of work (healthcare, secretarial, or retail). However, all the trans men of color I know personally have seen outrageous levels of unemployment post-transtion along with increased levels of police harassment and/or incarceration which have complicated their ability to find and keep employment. These obsevations obviously are anecdotal. I don’t know if there has been a study on this dynamic or not, but I think studying it certainly would shed some light on the actual state of the larger (ie. not just the white ) trans community.
And yet only the white people with money seem to ever matter in these studies. And people seem to be just fine and dandy citing these studies even with gigantic gaping holes of information about a huge percentage of that very same community. Why? .
So yeah… this apathy towards racism and classism… EXACTLY what I find so alienating about what TDOR is becoming in my area.
“I totally reject Jane’s categorization of the TDOR being a “white/cis” event… I’ve lived in NYC and SF and participated in both places and that’s not the reality in either. Maybe you’re just both living in white-people land or near colleges?”
You might be right, gina. All that space between NYC and SF… there’s like a whole country. Who knew??
I am glad to hear that TDOR events in your area aren’t white/cis dominated and ARE run by organizations dedicated to providing real services to trans women of color. Maybe you guys should serve as a templae? I wouldn’t know because that’s not the experience I’m having. I can only speak for where I live and have lived (Oklahoma, Houston, altho I exempt them from most of this criticism because I only attended one TDOR there and it was amazing, and Seattle) and there has been very little commitment to addressing the intersection of race and poverty intersecting with gender based oppressions.
I completely reject your ‘What about Gay Inc. they are so much worse than we ever could be!!’ derail. Their racist and cissexist erasure of all things impacting the trans community is exactly the sort of creeping influence in TDOR that I protest this year. Where you are it might not be such a big deal, but where I am it’s a growing concern.
I’m not going to apologize for not having the same wonderful experiences with the trans community you’ve had. But if you care at all about trans people in places other than where you are or have been, it behooves you to listen to those of us who beg to differ. If it can happen here, it can happen there. You have been warned.
“I’ve still heard no real solutions coming from anyone on this thread who’s dissing the TDOR. I think the comment that people only care about trans women of color when they’re dead is pretty cynical since the issues involved are systemic, far beyond the limitations of the trans community, imbedded in the corrupt economic system of this country…”
Like I keep saying, I give two craps about improving TDOR when it compares to the larger systemic issues you seem to think are beyond our capacity to address simply because we are marginalized… I’m just not going to give suggestions on how to improve this one little event that amounts to a symbolic gesture on my behalf. It’s lost relevance for me. If you don’t like me badmouthing it then either tune me out or take my critique for what its worth and YOU decide how to fix it.
What I will suggest is that the trans community AND our so called cis allies and all LGBTQ spectrum folks pull our collective heads out of the sand and start doing honest to goodness anti-racist and anti-poverty and anti-ableist work along with our anti-homophobia and anti-transphobia work. Because ALL of these issues are our issues.
I suggest demanding from the organizations that ostensibly represent the trans community, no less than full commitment and accountability to fighting cissexism and transphobia INTERSECTIONALLY.
PS. Let me clarify. I exempt Houston from my critique as the one TDOR I went to there was the antithesis of all my other experiences. Perhaps living in a big city with a very large and developed support network for transfolk makes all the difference. Then again Seattle certainly has a developed trans support network, and yet the general lack of racial awareness was appalling. I don’t even want to begin to discuss my three TDOR experiences in Oklahoma City. In regards to the racist and cissexist erasure, they were horrible to the point of traumatizing.
I haven’t interjected myself into this discussion because I really don’t have anything to add. I think it’s an important discussion to have and there are valid points being made on both sides. I’m only butting in now to let you all know that I am reading it.
“And you dont find the casual erasure of low-income trans people or trans people of color from this study highly problematic? Because I find it appalling.”
Agreed. Completely problematic. total bullshit. You think the Ingersoll study he mentioned was any less racist in its assumptions? Yes, I’m comparing two racist, bullshit studies.
“What I will suggest is that the trans community AND our so called cis allies and all LGBTQ spectrum folks pull our collective heads out of the sand and start doing honest to goodness anti-racist and anti-poverty and anti-ableist work along with our anti-homophobia and anti-transphobia work. Because ALL of these issues are our issues.”
Agreed. 100%.
“I’m not going to apologize for not having the same wonderful experiences with the trans community you’ve had.”
Never said that, honey and you know I didn’t.
One other piece of the issue you’re conveniently leaving out is who’s doing the killing. Google “Sidney Starr”… look on any hiphop discussion board and see what’s being written. I agree with everything you’ve written about systemic racism, classism and how it impacts young people of color in this country, but that doesn’t mean people of color get a total pass on “down low” culture and how the denial of it has a huge impact on young trans women being murdered. It may be a symptom of racism (that’s a complex questions) but it’s here and it’s real, now what’s going to be done about it?
Also want to say that not all the women on the US list, by a long shot, are sexworkers. I was very involved with increasing media coverage for the trial of Lateisha Green’s murder last year and I got frequent assumption from all colors of press that “wasn’t she a hooker”… no, she was a teenager early in transition who had a supportive boyfriend, living at home with her loving parents and her gay brother, went to a local party and got blown away by a homophobic jerk. The two trans women in DC were walking home in plain light from a trans-services center when they were murdered.
As to employment… I agree with most of what you’ve said. In my experience, however, in the Bay Area, most trans men of color are doing better than trans women… a lot better. Yes, they’re getting increased harassment from the cops (and the usual racism against global racism against black men) but I don’t know of any instance of a trans man of color being “informally executed” by the cops… could you say the same for trans women?
To put it in a world context… Thailand, the place we hear trans women are so loved, and they put their trans beauty contests on tv… they can’t get employment except as hookers, club dancers and shopgirls. They can’t even change their ID. many are murdered by their families. Many of the deaths of trans women in Latin America (and that’s the vast majority of the women on the list) are murdered by the cops and that’s both in countries which have the tentacles of the US around them, like Honduras and Mexico, and those which are quite distant from the US, like Venezuela.
gina
Glad to see that we’ve found areas of agreement.
**“I’m not going to apologize for not having the same wonderful experiences with the trans community you’ve had.”
Never said that, honey and you know I didn’t. **
Actually I wasn’t sure what you were saying. You seemed to take umbrage that there are those of us who are turned off by TDOR because of our specific racist and classist experiences with it. You suggested, not unreasonably, that instead of opting out we try and change and reorganize the event to better suit our needs. My only criticism to that is that I’d have to feel invested in the success or failure of the event enough to do so.. and I just don’t.
I don’t like the increasingly Queer Inc. direction I felt that TDOR has been forming into over the years… but I can only go by my specific experiences. Out of the 12 years of its existence I’ve attended only 6 events in only three cities. That’s a very limited sample to generalize from, I admit, but my experiences were what they were, and my feelings are what they are.
As for income level studies, I’m not investing in that discussion either, because I feel its a derail. But I do want to say this… I don’t know what the hell is going on between White Trans Men and White Trans Women and the deepening chasm that seems to have formed between them, but its truly dispiriting to watch.
I specifiy White because I haven’t noticed this level of antagonism between the transmen and transwomen in communities of color I’ve been in. Is this a universal gapin the trans community and I just haven’t noticed, or is this really a white thing? I’m asking in all seriousness.
“I don’t know what the hell is going on between White Trans Men and White Trans Women and the deepening chasm that seems to have formed between them, but its truly dispiriting to watch.”
That’s a totally great question but really is a derail. Maybe Matt wants to tackle that one in a future post? (if he hasn’t had enough tsouris already!)
Actually, I would love to tackle that in a future post. I have some initial thoughts, but I’m not going to write them here, because I’m saving them for the post. Thanks for the idea.
(I had to look up the word “tsouris.” How embarrassing for a writer!)
as a white female bodied androgyne passing as a woman, with experience in circles of radical anti-racist activism, I think this is a good point in the conversation to bring up that organizers of color have had for years regarding any number of progressive political endeavours (hopefully more in the past than in the present)where the people in it have had this kind of epiphany of looking around and saying “Hey, everybody here is white. There’s something wrong with that, isn’t there?”. I know I had that moment in a number of groups oh, 20 years ago or so. The reason this moment happens and there doesn’t seem to be any way to solve it is because the issue of racism in the world and in society is much deeper than white activists often give it credit for. A helpful tip from activists of color on this point is, where was the anti racist vision at the beginning of this project? How was it structured into the very fabric of what you do? (or not.) I hope this helps.
Good point and excellent suggestion. The problems that we see with a particular event like this extend far beyond the actual event and reflect not only what’s going on in the community, but in the larger society as well. Thanks for your comment and thanks for reading.
I thought I would add another city’s TDOR to the list that has a more diverse attendance.
Last night was the third Boston TDOR I have attended, and my estimate is that at least 40%, perhaps more, of those in attendance, both trans and cis, were people of color, with half of the speakers being trans women of color. The event has been emcee’d for the past 3 years by trans women of color and a lesbian clergywoman of color (the only years I have attended) and at least half of the speakers have been trans women of color.
These speakers represented the groups (among others) of the Transgender Emergency Fund (providing critical assistance to low-income people of Massachusetts), The Network/La Red (a bilingual organization working to end abuse in lesbian, bisexual women’s and transgender communities) , Massachusetts Commission on GLBT Youth (an independent agency of the Commonwealth with a mandate to protect and support the health and safety of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender (GLBT) youth in the schools and communities of Massachusetts, with a focus on suicide prevention and violence intervention policies regarding harassment and discrimination), Boston Alliance of GLBT Youth (BAGLY, a statewide support and development partnership of community-based direct service organizations which exist to ensure that queer and questioning youth from the Commonwealth have access to a broad array of supports, services and opportunities) and Transgender Care Education Needs Diversity (TransCEND, a community-based HIV prevention and health education project by and for transgender women).
I am not a member of any of these groups, but the people know each other and work together. If they aren’t working in an “intersectional” manner, then they are damn close to it.
That sounds like a good event. I have seen a lot of things going on in Boston and the Boston area that I really like. I think you activists out there are doing great things.
We also had a good event here in Denver. My guest post on Womanist Musings today is kind of a wrap-up of Denver’s TDOR. She usually puts it up later in the morning.
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