I try to keep up on the latest resources, but as our community flourishes and we become more vocal and visible everywhere, I sometimes fall behind. I know my readers are a diverse group with awareness of a variety of helpful resources, so I open up the following Ask Matt questions to you:
A reader writes: “I’m an African American post-op TS in Los Angeles, California. My questions is: Do you know of any websites, clubs, or places where transgender-friendly single men go to find post op TS’s for monogamous long-term relationships and marriage?
“I’ve lived in LA most of my life, and do not identify with the TS websites that objectify TS’s, nor do I identify with the TS bar scene. I am a spiritual (non-religious) spirit being who happens to move in the world as a woman. I’m not into labels, games, or negative energy.
“Can you guide me to the right places where I might find my life partner or single men looking for post-TS women for real love, monogamous relationships, and perhaps marriage?”
I’m hoping that my readers can come through on this one. I know that there are many trans dating websites, but I’m not sure which ones to recommend. Also, there might be some clubs or organizations in the LA area that are just what you’re looking for, but I am not familiar enough with LA to point you in the right direction. Readers, what do you suggest?
A reader writes: “Can you recommend any reading on transmen who identify as gay men after transitioning?”
Again, with so many new books being published by trans people (which is fantastic!), it’s easy to lose track of what is out there. I do talk about this in Just Add Hormones and Teeny Weenies, but neither book is specifically about this topic. What do readers recommend?
A reader writes: “I work for an organisation with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender young people. A lot of the young people who come to us have experienced childhood sexual abuse. I was wondering if you have any materials or resources on transgender people who have experienced sexual abuse as children?
“I understand that it has been a tricky area for authors and researchers, since there has been a long and false association with childhood sexual abuse as causing transgender development. Childhood sexual abuse is shockingly common for people of all genders and I absolutely do not believe abuse can make someone trans. However, I do believe that there needs to be trans-sensitive and trans-positive materials for survivors/victims of childhood sexual abuse to help them in a unique healing process.
“I am not aware of any information that’s currently available specifically for transgender survivors/victims of childhood sexual abuse. I would really appreciate any pointers you have on this.”
While there are a lot of blog posts and other “information” about this on the Web, quite a bit of it is questionable. And you’re right – there are still people who claim that childhood sexual abuse somehow “caused” a person to “become” trans. I am sure that there is good, solid information and supportive materials out there that I am either not aware of or have forgotten. That’s where my brilliant readers come in. Readers, what can you suggest?
Thanks so much for all your help, my wonderful readers, and have a great New Year’s holiday if you celebrate!