A reader writes: “I am a transman in a committed relationship (6.5 years together) with a cisman. We met when I was still presenting as female, and he has been a source of unconditional love throughout the process. I hope to begin hormone therapy in early December, and he supports me. “We were in a [...]
Posts Tagged ‘gender expectations’
Ask Matt: The Legalities of Marriage in Trans Land
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, tagged being trans, gender expectations, legal, LGBT, relationships, same-sex marriage on November 21, 2011 | 17 Comments »
Ask Matt: The Culture of ‘Male Bravado’
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, Observations, tagged gender expectations, gender roles, masculinity, trans men on November 17, 2011 | 11 Comments »
A reader writes: “What experiences have you had with male bravado? A few weeks ago I had a situation in which I had to step up and face down a non-trans male in protection of a female co-worker. This was a completely new experience for me. I am physically a short-statured guy and he was [...]
Ask Matt: Correcting the Wrong Pronoun
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, tagged community, etiquette, gender expectations, language, pronouns on October 13, 2011 | 9 Comments »
A reader writes: “What’s on my mind today is correcting pronouns. For example, I had a professor who in class has consistently referred to me as Mr., but who sent me an e-mail saying Ms. I was surprised because he had been referring to me correctly for some time and any official documents he might [...]
Meanness Doesn’t Equal ‘Man-ness’
Posted in Commentary, tagged gender expectations, gender roles, hormones, masculinity, testosterone on August 25, 2011 | 20 Comments »
One of the worst fights that I have ever seen – besides on television and in Sylvester Stallone films – was when I was a junior high teacher many years ago. I was in the classroom during a break, and a student came running in, shouting, “Miss Kailey, Miss Kailey (that was my name then). [...]
Ask Matt: Dealing with a Transitioning Coworker
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, Observations, tagged discrimination, employment, gender expectations, gender expression, legal, transition on August 18, 2011 | 34 Comments »
A reader writes: “I have a coworker who, over the course of the four years we have worked together, made the transition from a man to a post-surgery woman. “I have tried to be supportive of each phase of the transition, but my coworker has made it increasingly difficult. Each phase was a surprise – [...]
Meet the New Gender Police – Same as the Old Gender Police
Posted in Commentary, tagged community, gender expectations, gender expression, gender identity, gender roles on August 11, 2011 | 18 Comments »
Two situations have recently come to my attention. At first glance, they appear to be completely different scenarios – opposites, in fact. But upon closer inspection, we can see that they are almost identical. Scenario 1: Several straight, traditionally masculine trans men gang up on some non-traditional gay and queer trans guys, telling them that [...]
Ask Matt Monday: Gender Confusion – City, Suburbs, and Small Towns
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, Observations, tagged assimilation, being trans, gender expectations, gender expression, gender roles, LGBT, sexual orientation on July 4, 2011 | 9 Comments »
A reader writes: “I’m a gay trans guy in my mid twenties who just moved to a gay neighborhood in a large city. I’m originally from a relatively small town, where I was living a double life. I was “she” at home (living with family), but when I’d go out with friends I met through [...]
Ask Matt: Coming Out on a ‘Family’ Vacation
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, Observations, tagged being out, bodies, coming out, family, gender expectations, transition on June 30, 2011 | 10 Comments »
A reader writes: “I’m going on vacation for a week at my friend’s place this August. She knows about my situation (20-year-old transman, pre-everything-I-plan-to-do), and she’s supportive. We’re going to stay at her father’s place, and her grandmother is going be there, too. “There lies the issue: Neither of them knows about me yet, so [...]
Ask Matt: Why Did I ‘Change’ My Name?
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, tagged gender expectations, gender identity, identity, transgender on June 23, 2011 | 9 Comments »
A reader writes: “I have just started a new temporary job. When I entered the building, I discovered that I knew three people from previous jobs or friendships. At the beginning of my second week, I asked my bosses if I could be known by my preferred name – it is not a legal name [...]
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Ask Matt: Correcting a Past Pronoun
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, Commentary, tagged etiquette, gender expectations, gender roles, language, pronouns on October 13, 2011 | 12 Comments »
A reader writes: “I’m reasonably clued about trans etiquette, but I’ve never really known what to do with this one. What pronoun do you use for a person when talking about them in their pre-transition past? What feels right to me is to use whatever gender they were presenting as at the time, but I’m [...]
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