A reader writes: “I’m reasonably clued about trans etiquette, but I’ve never really known what to do with this one. What pronoun do you use for a person when talking about them in their pre-transition past? What feels right to me is to use whatever gender they were presenting as at the time, but I’m [...]
Posts Tagged ‘language’
Ask Matt: Correcting a Past Pronoun
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, Commentary, tagged etiquette, gender expectations, gender roles, language, pronouns on October 13, 2011 | 12 Comments »
Ask Matt: Correcting the Wrong Pronoun
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, tagged community, etiquette, gender expectations, language, pronouns on October 13, 2011 | 9 Comments »
A reader writes: “What’s on my mind today is correcting pronouns. For example, I had a professor who in class has consistently referred to me as Mr., but who sent me an e-mail saying Ms. I was surprised because he had been referring to me correctly for some time and any official documents he might [...]
Media Mishaps and My Ongoing Irritation
Posted in Commentary, Observations, tagged being trans, Internet, language, media on August 29, 2011 | 14 Comments »
Oh, the media! I was a member of the media for eight years when I wrote for, and later became managing editor of, Out Front Colorado, one of the oldest LGBT publications in the country. But while I’m not there anymore, as a blogger, some might still consider me a member of the media. Neither [...]
Ask Matt: The ‘It’ Word
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, tagged coming out, community, gender identity, identity, language, pronouns on August 4, 2011 | 13 Comments »
A reader writes: “I came out as FTM to my friends about two years ago. Most of them took it well and started addressing me as male. The problem is that I live in small town, and my community of friends is made up of people from many surrounding small towns. Sometimes new people join [...]
Ask Matt: Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Trans Parents
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, tagged family, gender expectations, gender roles, holidays, language, transition on May 26, 2011 | 16 Comments »
A reader writes: “I have two grown children, ages 20 and 22. I gave birth to them and raised them and now that they are grown and I am in transition to male, my daughter asked me which day should we celebrate – Mother’s or Father’s Day? “I personally don’t want to celebrate either because [...]
‘Non’ is the ‘Op’-erative Word
Posted in Commentary, Observations, tagged bodies, identity, language, restrooms, surgery, transsexual on April 28, 2011 | 47 Comments »
I was presenting on a trans panel recently, and the facilitator asked each of us to introduce ourselves and say a little about ourselves, including whether we were pre-op, post-op, or non-op. Although I was slightly taken aback, I simply waited my turn and explained that I don’t identify myself by my operations. I have [...]
Don’t Worry, Ke$ha. I Don’t Want to Date You, Either
Posted in Commentary, tagged gender expression, Internet, language, LGBT, masculinity, music, trans men on December 20, 2010 | 21 Comments »
And neither do any of the trans guys I know. In fact, for someone who tries soooo hard to be hip, you are making yourself less cool every day. I first wrote about Ke$ha’s questionable notion of the transgender community when I was writing for Examiner.com. At that time, in an interview with The Advocate, [...]
Ask Matt Monday: In Bed with a Trans Man
Posted in Advice, Ask Matt, tagged bodies, hormones, language, relationships, sex, surgery, testosterone, trans men on October 18, 2010 | 6 Comments »
A reader writes: “I am a queer woman dating a trans guy. This is all very new to me, and a very sensitive subject to him. This person is in transition, having T regularly, is planning top surgery, but has no intentions to change his sex. “What do I call his sex? What do I [...]
‘Pro-Life,’ ‘Family Values,’ and Reclaiming Language
Posted in Commentary, tagged family, homophobia, language, politics, right wing, suicide, transphobia on October 7, 2010 | 7 Comments »
People in marginalized communities talk a lot and do a lot about reclaiming language that has been used against us in hurtful and harmful ways. “Queer” and “tranny” are words that have been reclaimed by some people in my community, and have been turned around to symbolize power, strength, or rebellion. But there are also [...]
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I Can’t Get Over Being Told to ‘Get Over It’
Posted in Commentary, tagged allies, discrimination, language, transphobia on November 7, 2011 | 40 Comments »
It’s amazing what’s expected of us as trans people. We’re supposed to watch our trans sisters succumb to unspeakable brutality on a constant basis. We’re supposed to ignore the fact that we can be legally fired in thirty-eight states simply because we’re trans. We’re supposed to “understand” when we are denied admittance to public places [...]
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