A reader writes: “I am a 17-year-old FTM. I know my first and last name choices to change, but I am having a hard time on a middle name. I wanted to know how you decided on yours, and do you have any suggestions for me?”
Middle names are interesting, and they can be just as important as first names, depending on how you intend to use them. I chose my middle name (and my first name) based solely on what my parents were going to name me if I had been born a boy. But there are plenty of other ways to choose a middle name.
If you have one name that you absolutely love, then go with it. But you sent me a list of several that you were considering, which I’m not printing because it could identify you. However, here are some things I would suggest thinking about when choosing a middle name:
1. Preference: When you give your friends a list of the names you are considering, is there one that you secretly hope they will not choose? If so, eliminate that one, then give them the list of remaining names. Is there another one that you secretly hope that they will not choose? Then eliminate that one, and so on. If there is always one name that you secretly hope they will choose, then there’s your middle name.
2. Timelessness: Will your middle name stand the test of time? For example, Kanye West is huge right now, and maybe he is your favorite artist. But in twenty years, will you still want the middle name of Kanye? (Kanye will likely be happy with his name for the rest of his life, but he is Kanye West.) Think about how your name will stand up in twenty, thirty, or fifty years. Of course, your tastes will probably change, and you don’t know right now what they might be, but try to project yourself into the future. What name might you want? I would recommend avoiding “fads.” (more…)